Missing you, India!!!

I live in a country that is not same as the one where I was born and raised. So - though I love my adopted country - I still miss many people and things that I had to leave behind. The relatives, friends, festivals, food, weather- all are missed. Yes, I have made many acquaintances here; yes, almost all types of Indian food- cooked and uncooked are available here; yes, most of the festivals are celebrated here too, ( though sometimes not on the same day), - still how do I get to hear the sound of many languages, traffic, music as one walks down the streets in India, smell the flowers and fruits sold by the wayside, and buy the street foods that is availble everywhere in any Indian city? Though many people that I have met here are extremely helpful and willing to listen, yet I miss talking with my friends in Bengali. Some jokes lose their 'funniness' in translation. One cannot walk into a cinema hall whenever one desires to see an Indian movie. Or turn on the radio to listen to Hindi or Bengali songs and discussions.

Looking at the positive side, I am fortunate to be able to travel to another country, learn another culture, meet many helpful and friendly people, be able to drive to malls, grocery stores or wherever in airconditioned or heated car. All these I can do with much more ease than I would have been able to in the land of my birth. I look forward to changing color of the leaves in Fall and new foliage and multicolored blossoms in Spring. These natural highlights I would not have seen if I did not come to this country. I would have not known the celebration of Thanksgiving, or heard the excitement of children hunting for Easter eggs. Though the shops and numerous houses are decorated for many festivals in India, the decorations are more elaborate here in the malls, airports, city centers and private homes. I am a retired school teacher who found the classrooms in schools here more colorful with works of students, bulletin boards and maps.

Inspite of living in the 'land of plenty' in a rather comfortable way for over forty years I still remember the smell of a particular flower when our biggest festival - Durga Puja-comes around every September or October, when the brother/sister celebration takes place, when colored water and powder is sprinkled on friends and family during the observance of Holi. When there is a celebration of any kind in my family back in India I wish again and again to be there and I when loose a dear relative I want to go and hold those who are suffering. Talking on the telephone is never the same as being able to talk face to face with someone.

But one learns to accept what life brings. And I have accepted this life joyfully too. I am going to end with a quote from Arnold Schwarzanegger "As you know, I'm an immigrant. I came over here as an immigrant, and what gave me the opportunities, what made me to be here today, is the open arms of Americans. I have been received. I have been adopted by America. "

Though I promised to be more regular with my blog, I could not do so because of one other emergency that happened in my life. I had to undergo another operation last year. This one on my left knee. It took me a while to get used to my new knee. But now it has healed a lot and I am more mobile on my feet.

In the meantime the old year has gone and a new year started; 'Thanksgiving' and 'Christmas' came and went too. We struggled with cold air and snow for months. Now the weather is slowly starting to warm up, the daffodils have already bloomed in our yard and those of our neighbors. In the vegetable gardens-the ground has been turned over and the early lettuce and onions are already peeping out. Trees are either looking colorful with white, yellow, pink, or scarlet blooms or pretty green leaves. Spring is beautiful in this country. But it is so in the land of my birth too. But I do not remember it being as colorful as here.

Spring also brings new food for us to taste and cook. Just like in India. There, I looked forward to the preparations that my mother made with blossoms from drumstick trees, and those made with tender drumsticks too. And I also miss the bitter 'neem' eggplant dish that we had with hot boiled rice. I was told that it would prevent me from getting chicken pox!! Here, in my adopted country, spring brings asparagus, both green and white, artichokes, spring onions, many varieties of lettuce and the pungent red radishes. With Easter also being celebrated in spring an abundance of lamb is also found in supermarkets. This is the time of the year to try out new light recipes. My favorite lunch these days consist of young mixed green and red lettuce leaves with sliced strawberry, nuts and little bit of cooked chicken.

Oh- how I like spring!!

I did promise that I 'll write more frequently. But somehow this gets pushed on the 'back burner' frequently. Too many things need my attention- the yard, various programs of grandchildren, the tiredness that I am still fighting etc. etc. etc. By the way, I am feeling better in general than what I was going through a couple of months ago. Now, if only my hair grew a little faster, if I could stay away from all 'fatty' foods, if my knees felt a lot better so that I could walk.......................



Some of you have been asking me to write some of my recipes in here. So here is the first one.



Mint is growing in many yards at present. It may be a good idea to make some mint chutney with some of that. This is an versatile easy recipe. Feel free to change it around to suit your taste.

Ingredients:

Approximately 5 cups of mint leaves, washed

Juice of 1 lemon or lime

1/2 teaspoon of salt

2 tablespoon sugar-brown or granulated white

1 cayenne pepper, deseeded and chopped(optional)

1/2 teaspoon grated ginger

1/2 teaspoon of ground cumin

Water- as needed- to make a paste



Put all of the above in a blender except the water. Add water water gradually stirring frequently to make a smooth paste. Add more water if you want the chutney to be more 'liquidy.'

This can be used as a dip for chips, vegetables, or fritters.

It will stay in the refrigerator for a month.



Let me know what you think of it.



More later.

I just noticed that I have not updated my blog for a while. There are of course valid reasons why I have not done so. I was incapacitated with an illness for a while and am just now getting back on my feet.

In the meantime we have started a new year and have a brand new president in Washington who happens to be black. That is a record for this country! Already I have noticed welcome changes being made in few spheres of our lives.

Personally, I find that my faith has undergone some changes too. I have become more acceptable of circumstances in which I find myself at the present. Do not have much of a choice on that any way. I have a new hairstyle- very, very short at present. But I have been told it will grow eventually. Though I am still undergoing treatment I find that I have become stronger, more patient and flexible. I am also looking forward towards the future with more energy. That is appropriate with advent of Spring all over the world.


This is when I think of my motherland every year. Around this time in India we celebrated the 'festival of colors' or Holi. Though this is a major Hindu festival it is celebrated by people of other faith too. It is always celebrated on the day after the full moon in early March. People sprinkle each other with bright colored water and colored powder with abandon. It's almost like every one wants to bring color back to the world after a dreary winter. Of course there are many stories why this festival is celebrated- the main one being that dark skinnedLord Krishna complained to his mother why his skin was so dark while his playmate Radha was so fair. In answer to that his mother told him to spray her with colored water to make her look more like him.

Well, it is April already and I find that I still have not updated my blog. Well, I am still on the road to recovery, feeling a little bit better every day. I am back to doing the usual things around the house. And I have gone back to adding new recipes to my cookbook again.

That is all for today. I will try write more frequently in future.

Thirty eight years and counting!!

I just realised that today, (November 6th.), is a very important day for our family. We - my two children and I-arrived in this country for the very first time thirty eight years ago today. My husband had been here before for a couple of years. Then he left for England to get his training in Surgery. We got married while he was there.

Thirty eight years! So much has happened since that very cold day in Bangor, Maine. That was our port of entry in United States. I vaguely remember standing there and trying to humor our very tired two and half year old daughter and one and half year old son. Finally we got our 'green cards'-which were actually blue and boarded a flight to John F. Kennedy airport in New York where we hoped a friend waited to take us to his home.


Anyway, as I said before so much has happened in these years. Those two children have grown up to be responsible adults with adorable children of their own. We now have five very good looking well mannered, smart, witty grandchildren who make us feel proud to be their grand parents. My husband started his general surgery practice in this small bluegrass community and practiced successfully for twenty six years. He was well known for his expertise, fairness and caring nature amongst his patients, employees, and colleagues. Though he has closed his practice almost ten years ago his patients and coworkers still remember him fondly. He must have influenced his children positively. Our daughter is as hard working as her father and is raising her two sons in the same way that she was raised, in a loving but firm atmosphere. Our son has followed his father's footsteps and become a physician too. People who have come in contact with him tell me that he reminds them of his father. One very interesting fact about our children is that both of them became presidents of their junior as well as their senior classes in high school. I think that feat was a first for sister and brother in the local high school and a feat that has still not been matched. As for me, I received my teaching certificate from the state of Kentucky, got another Masters degree, taught in the local public school system working with the gifted children, resigned and started a catering company and spent some interesting years with that. I was compelled to give that up to look after my aging aunt. About eight years ago I started to work in our local library as a part-time reference library assistant.



Things have changed in this community too. Population of this county has grown four fold since we moved here. We got a new hospital, a new library, two new elementary schools, one elementary school was rebuilt after a tornado destroyed it, another was constructed in northern part of the county to replace an outdated and over populated one; an oulet mall came to town that attracted many tourists and other strip malls were also built. Most notable change took place when Toyota decided to built a factory here. Of course many of the changes that I have written about happened because of Toyota. The county went from being 'dry' to 'wet.' That attracted a few chain eateries here as well as opened some new resturants. Instead of one Chinese places to eat we now have four or five. If we so desire we can also eat Mexican cuisine too. And all these places have become 'smoke-free' zones too. We also have a wonderful exercise facility complete with a walking track and huge indoor swimming pool. Because of the population explosion numerous subdivisions have sprung up all over the town and county. People of many origins now call Scott County their home. I am sure there are other changes that have taken place in addition to the ones that I have mentioned.

We have also witnessed coming and going of seven presidents, changes in lifestyles, advances in technology, medicine, capture and release of hostages, read about global warming, and just recently applauded the election of the first black president of this country.

All this makes me realise once more that nothing in this life is static. Changes are happening all the time There are many instances that we should be thankful for. Also, there are, and always would be, things to pray for. I am just grateful to have the opportunity to live and learn in this great community and be a part of it. I do not know how many days or years that I have left, but I pray that I continue to see other changes that take place here.

Today is a special day in India-specially in West Bengal, the state where I come from. Today all bengalis celebrate 'bhai phonta' or when sisters pray for their brothers wellbeing and good health, and brothers pledge to take care of their sisters. On this day, early in the morning, a sister prepared a special place for her brother to sit, prepared his favorite breakfast or have for him a plateful of sweets and savory snacks, have a gift ready on a plate with a small bowl of white sandlewood paste. She then lit a lamp by the seat and asked her brother to sit on his place. Then after dabbing a sandlewood dot on his forehead while reciting a four line prayer and showering him with her blessings,(if he was younger than her), or touching his feet,(if he was older), and asked for his blessings. She then gave him his gift- which could be money or or clothes or something else to his liking. Lastly she would offer him the plateful of food and ask him to eat. Only after he had started to eat would she break her fast and eat something.

I remember years ago when I was growing up, all of us cousin sisters donning our nearly new outfits after our baths and getting the dining room ready for our brothers and male cousins. One of us made the sandlewood paste while the others arranged the sweet and savory snacks on plates. We then ran to get our gifts and lined up as our brothers took their seats. We made sure that the lamp was lit in the prayer room before we started down the line to apply sandlewood dot on forehead of our brothers, recite the four line prayer, give and collect gifts. The rest of the day was spent in merriment. The ladies of the household and older cousin sisters cooked special favorites of the male members of the family, who in turn provided the desserts for the day by getting what the ladies liked.

Eversince I have come away from India I never fail to call my brother before I have breakfast on this special day and recite the four line prayer for him. He, in turn, says that he is missing the smell of sandlewood on his forehead. We talk and joke for a while, both of us missing that sweet time of the past. I did introduce my children to this ritual as they were growing up. And though it was a school day most years, and not a holiday as in India, they managed to get up early to go through with a short ceremony before they left for school. The dinner was special that evening, most of it cooked by me-their mother. My daughter helped in setting the table. Brother and sister usually gave each other monetary gifts. As days passed they grew up, went away to school and now have families of their own. They do not remember this ceremony anymore-unless I remind them. But I do not do that these days; as I see it, one remembers a ceremony only if it holds a meaning for the person. One should not force another to go through something that has no importance and is only an empty ritual.

Continuation of 'Things that I miss.'

This time of the year we celebrate many other festivals too. The most important of these is the Festival of Lights or Diwali. This particular festival is observed differently in different regions of the country. For example, in West Bengal - the state from where I come- it is a two day festival. On the afternoon of the first day fourteen different types of greens are cooked together and were eaten with rice during lunch. Why fourteen-I really do not know. But it was always done. Then as the evening drew near fourteen clay lamps were lit and placed in different rooms of the house-including bathrooms and even, just outside the front door- to drive away evil spirits and dispel darkness. Next day got really exciting! All the youngsters of the household had to make wicks from old white cotton sari for approximately a hundred clay lamps which were filled with oil and arranged on the balustrades of our house and lit as the evening fell. The sight was spectacular!! The picture posted here will give the reader some idea of how beautiful our homes looked.

Then all of us gathered outside for the fireworks. Almost every household had a show of their own - even if it was just sparklers. Next on the agenda was usually getting in our car and going for a ride around the neighborhood to see the lights on other houses. We returned to a sumptious dinner which was more like a feast. After that we again piled into the car to go to see Kali puja, worship of Goddess Kali, a diety who came to earth Hindus believe to rid our planet of evil. This was again victory of good over evil. That was Diwali of my growing up years.

In other parts of India instead of Kali, Goddess Lakshmi is worshiped. Lakshmi is believed to be in charge of wealth and good fortune. Believers there think that the houses are illuminated so that Lakshmi would know which house to enter and bestow her blessings to the inhabitants of that household. Some believe that we celebrate Diwali for Rama - the banished king of Ayodhya- who returned to his kingdom with his consort Sita and brother Lakshman after fourteen years. Fireworks were lit and the houses were illuminated to welcome him back. Dewali is a celebration of that anniversary. Some believe, specially among merchants, it is the beginning of new year. New clothes are bought as gifts for family members and sweets are distributed to workers.

There are still other beliefs. But be that as it may, Dewali is a celebration with light, fireworks, special worships, new clothes, jewlry, utensils for the house, good food and delicious desserts. Keeping all that in mind we celebrate the festival in this country- our adopted home- by getting together either in our homes or temples or community halls. Our children perform in cultural programs with dances and songs which are taught to them by some talented adults. There is always some form of religious ceremony, followed by either a potluck or catered banquet. If possible we light some fireworks and reminesce of other Dewalis of the past. Some things have changed in India too. I am told that instead of the clay lamps, candles or tiny electric lights similar to Christmas lights, are now used. Commercialism has crept in and huge amounts of money are now spent in decorating the markets and business districts of every town and city. Cards and other gifts are send out with Dewali greetings to friends and family.But the spirit of the festival is still there and that is what we try to establish here-even it is for a weekend or day.